


in the End, he couldn't

by freekiMiliu_22



Series: The Fire in his Eyes [4]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Amnesia, Blood and Injury, Burns, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Manipulation, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Memory Loss, Mind Control, Morse Code, No beta we die like Technoblade's time as the main protagonist, Panic Attacks, Protege Tommy AU, Protegeinnit, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Reverse Chronology, Sleepwalking, Sort Of, Stabbing, Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), he's trying his best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freekiMiliu_22/pseuds/freekiMiliu_22
Summary: He doesn't know if he is doing the right thing.But he knew he had to do something.--or--Ranboo made a promised, if only he didn't forget.--[[NOTE: Read Tags before proceeding, this is about their CHARACTERS not the CCs, if any of the CCs state they are uncomfortable I am taking this down
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Ranboo, Clay | Dream & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy & Ranboo, Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: The Fire in his Eyes [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049219
Comments: 20
Kudos: 124





	1. seven

**Author's Note:**

> May I IMPLORE ya'll to never share this, or any other fanfic of them that I wrote, to the content creators mentioned here or is part of the Dream Team SMP. That's kinda pushing their boundaries in my opinion, so please don't.
> 
> And lastly, before reading, here are the CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS, if any of you all feel uncomfortable about these stuff, I would rather you read something else, please take care of yourself and your health first :).
> 
> CW/TW:  
> Panic Attack  
> Derealization
> 
> ALSO:  
> Be sure to read the rest of the series first or this won't make any sense! :,D

He awoke to a gasp behind him. 

The first thing he was aware of was smoke filling his nostrils, the crackling of recently sparked flames, the heat of the burning structure in front of him, his own fingers feeling rather warm as well. He looks down. 

To see himself gripping flint and steel. 

"C-Camarvan..?"

He spun and saw Niki, with her hands on her mouth, eyes wide. She whimpered as her tears cascaded. She fell to her knees, landing heavily as her gaze moved from the replica Camarvan, to him. 

The look of utter dejection. 

He hears yelling, and fear grips him before he could process anything. Dropping the flint and steel, he stepped back, feeling his legs freeze before he could escape. The yells coming from who he now identifies as Fundy and Puffy are approaching. But all he could do is return his gaze to Niki, who is still staring up at him with those despairing eyes. 

_ "Why..?"  _ Was all she could utter. 

Why? 

He looks back at the Camarvan, or what is left of it, still burning, a crater in the middle from the TNT that was set off from the inside. That was when the weight of everything all at once hit him like a truck. 

_ What has he done?  _

A flash of red lands besides him, bringing him back from his thoughts. The figure donning a perpetually frowning mask doesn't even turn to look at him, only gesturing at him with a tilt of his head. A name flashed in his mind,  _ Theo _ , he recognized him. 

_ "Go." _

A trident was suddenly summoned in Theo's hand. The masked boy stood protectively in front of him, as Fundy, Puffy along with more L'Manbergians and some of their allies closed in on them. He finally felt movement return to his legs, and he turned and ran. 

He kept running. Noises of fighting can be heard back there, getting farther and farther away. His worry for Theo being buried by his instincts yelling for him to escape. He hears a call to chase him, and his sprinting quickens. Faster and faster. He yelped as an arrow whizzes just past his head. Hissing as another grazes his ear. More and more arrows followed suit and he spun around seeing Quackity, axe raised. Placing dirt blocks to slow his pursuer down, he pivots, going for the trees and grabbing an ender pearl from his inventory. He throws. 

And he lands not as smoothly on non L'Manbergian territory. Panting, he slumped under a tree. Curling in on himself as if somehow that'll make him less detectable. 

He heard folks teleporting to his destination, the thumps of their feet as they land on the grassy dirt around him. He covered his mouth, attempting to muffle his heavy breathing before any of them could hear. They had since begun speaking amongst themselves, agreeing to spread out to go look for him. Feeling a single bead of sweat trail down his forehead, he shuddered, having heard one of them approach, just a few blocks behind him, so close to the tree serving as his hiding spot. He's still technically crouched, they shouldn't be able to see him. They shouldn't. 

They shouldn't. 

The ensuing silence is deafening. 

All he could hear is the rapid  _ tha-thump tha-thump  _ that is his heartbeat. He could feel them staring at the tree, almost right through, right at him. His hair stood on end as the silence was suddenly broken, his ears picking up the sound of footsteps, to his left, closer, and closer. 

They're circling the tree. 

He gulped at the sight of Quackity, still wearing his Butcher Army uniform, sharpened netherite axe gleaming with the moonlight. He could kill him, he very well could. He is unarmed and he is not mentally ready enough for PVP. Could he run? He should still have ender pearls. But, he probably won't be able to sprint for long. What if they catch him? He doesn't know what they're going to do with him. He doesn't even remember  _ what _ he was doing to deserve this. All it takes is for Quackity to turn around and he's a goner. He's screwed. He is so screwed. They're going to lock him up, no, they'll just execute him. He's a traitor. Was he? He betrayed them! Did he? His last life was flashing before his eyes, remembering he had already lost two. Oh god he's on his last life. He will die. He will  _ permanently _ die. Oh god oh god oh god- 

His panicking thoughts were interrupted by a call from the communicator, heard publicly by everybody. 

ItsFundy: GET BACK HERE

ItsFundy: WE GOT THEM

Quackity: not now fundy im busy

ItsFundy: come on big q this guys slippery!

ItsFundy: AH WTF?! HE BIT ME! 

Quackity: its

Quackity: its just one person 

ItsFundy: I KNOW

Punz: what about the other one? 

Quackity: ok ok

Quackity: we're going back

WilburSoot: hey guys who's that? why are you all punching him? 

ItsFundy: ugh not now ghostbur

Quackity: go vc2

With a sigh, Quackity took one last glance of the trees before spinning around and running off, back to the direction of L'Manberg. He hears who he now identifies as Punz follow soon, stepping on twigs as both their footsteps disappear further out of the forest. 

And he stood there, minutes passing, before he finally breathed out the breath he'd been holding for so long. He is now gasping for air, the panic still there despite the threats being long gone. He struggles, trying to ease his breathing. Inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale inhale exhale. He is holding his chest, feeling his quickened heartbeat slow down into a much more normal pace. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale… 

He's fine, he's safe. 

Hesitantly, he stood up, legs still shaking. He glanced behind the tree, seeing nothing but trees around him. No other player, only the sound of stray growling from zombies who were just starting to wander around, waking up in the nighttime. He could handle zombies. Yeah, he can handle mobs just fine. 

He raises a hand, aiming to wipe a sweat from his brow, but his fingers instead touch a hard, porcelain surface. Confused, he puts his whole hand on his face, trailing his cheeks, still feeling that porcelain accessory covering it. How did he not notice himself wearing anything out of the ordinary since just now. Placing both his palms at the side of his face, he grabbed and pulled. 

Only to see, staring right at him, on both of his hands-

A mask. 

Shaken, he dropped it. It is still both smiling and frowning at him. Taunting him from the dirt. 

His mind is fogging up as he is struggling to remember. What did he just forget? His memories suddenly shifted to Theo- Tommy, as he stared at him, sorry in his eyes. It shifts again, this time, to Dream, emotion still completely unreadable under the mask. All he recalled was fear, intense fear as a name came out of the masked man's lips. Whose name was it? Was it his? No, he can't accept it. That isn't his name. He doesn't want to be named. He isn't that. He's ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜! He's  _ ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜!  _

Wait. 

He gripped his head. 

"I'm ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜."

He just said his name. 

Why can't he hear his name? 

"I'm ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜! No, I'm ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜! I'M ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜!  _ ⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜ _ !  **_⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜_ ** !  **_ARGH!!!"_ **

He slammed his head on a tree. Which doesn't clear up the static growing in his mind. Why? Why is he starting to forget? He can't forget this. Anything but his name. Anything but who he is.  _ Anything. _ His cheeks started to sting as tears started trailing his eyes. He shouldn't cry. It physically stings to cry. He can't help it. He is a sobbing mess, his cheeks burning as he kept crying. It hurts. It hurts.

He's losing it. 

He turns to look back at the discarded mask. Should he even pick it up? He feels like he has no other choice. His stomach turns at imagining himself wearing it. No, he has to wear it. He has to. 

As he reaches for it, he hears a whisper in his ear, a message just for him. 

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: hey? you ok?  _

He stares, he's OK? 

He's OK! 

He immediately starts whispering back. 

_You whisper to Tommyinnit:_ _yeah_

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: good _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: im probably gonna be gone for a bit _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: tell that to dream for me alright _

_ You whisper to Tommy: ok _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: is this janus speaking?  _

He froze. 

After minutes of apparently not responding, he hears Tommy whisper back. 

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: oh fuck its ranboo isnt it?  _

That's his name… That's his actual name! Why now can he hear it? Or, technically read it since this whole communication method is some sort of telepathy and all. It doesn't matter however. His actual name bounces around his head, glad he can still recall. Delighted he still has a grip on who he is. Or at the very least, somewhat.

And then, Tommy whispers again. 

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: im so sorry _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: janus if youre reading this tell techno where i am _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: im sure dream is gonna get you both to bust me out _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: tell him im fine stick to the plan _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: and ranboo  _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: go _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: there should be a compass leading back to techno's base they shouldnt find you there _

_ Tommyinnit whispers to you: be safe _

And then silence. Ranboo is left there, pondering his situation. A name sticking in his head. 

_ Janus.  _

His memories are fuzzy, he held his head with one hand, struggling to remember the meaning behind the name. Slowly, his gears started turning. He should remember. He should remember. 

Before finally, it clicked in place. 

Janus. 

"...I'm Janus."

His grip on the mask hardens.

_ "I'm Janus." _

.... . / .-- .- ... -. .----. - / .-.. -.-- .. -. --. 

  
  



	2. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doubts things could be fixed, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW:
> 
> Mild Derealization

He awoke. The fog from his vision dissipates. He found himself standing there, staring at a wall, soon, starting to make out wooden signs left littered across the smooth stone. Shaking his head, the fog in his brain barely clears up. Confusion is still wrapping around him like a heavy blanket.

_ What..? _

“You weren’t even listening, were you?” 

A mildly annoyed sounding statement finally brought him back to reality. Turning around, he sees Techno, arms crossed and a single brow raised. His look questioning, making him look more disappointed than what his tone might be indicating.

“Oh- I... did it again, did I?” He turns away, placing a claw on his face, his finger grazing the sweat on his forehead. “Uhhh, sorry about… all that.”

As Ranboo turned back to Techno, he noticed the look on the man's face. Techno's brows are now furrowed. In his ruby eyes swirl conflicting feelings Ranboo cannot quite identify. Ranboo however, does notice Techno’s hand was raised, hesitant, reaching out over Ranboo’s shoulder but not quite placing it, as if something is making him resist what could be deemed comforting contact. As if he wasn't ready. 

With a grunt, Techno turns away from Ranboo's gaze. Pulling back and lowering his arm.

“Nah, it’s fine.” Pushing pass Ranboo. “We can just go over all  _ these _ again, no big deal. That'd be entertaining.” There is a sarcastic exhaustion in his words as he elected to divert their attention back at the wall. Chuckling.

“No, you really don’t have to-”

“So as I was saying.” Techno began. “This is a to-do list.”

Ranboo pauses, staring at him blankly. “Yep, it’s a to-do list, alright.” He nods, agreeing. 

“Mm-hmm.” Techno replies back.

And they both stared intently at a wall for what felt like minutes. Ranboo is squinting. He could read them just fine, it’s just, he’s having some trouble processing what even is this that he and Techno wrote, probably, not that he remembers. 

Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. His eyes flicked from one sign to another. But, with lacking the context as to why they should even bother, it’s only making his head spin.

“...burn the Camarvan. Got it.” His finger is on his chin as he nodded. Everything else in the to-do list was mostly just on how to do this arson and get away with it, still, nothing as to what they're accomplishing with burning some random vehicle. Techno must’ve noticed his confusion.

“Yeah, I got nothing.” Techno shrugs. “Apparently it was some sort of important monument to LManberg? I don't know. I wasn’t here back then.”

“Heh, you’d think it’d be better to just cut the chase and leave it a crater right?” Even Ranboo is slightly disturbed at his own surprisingly casual remark on the prospect of New L’Manberg exploding again. Techno however, wasn’t, only nodding in agreement.

“Mm-hmm, then again it’s  _ Dream _ . The man kind-of likes overcomplicating things.” Techno huffs. “He acts like he’s some sort of evil mastermind, cringe.”

Ranboo chuckled before freezing upon hearing the name.

“Di… Did you say Dream?”

“Yeah.” Techno stated matter of factly, before for a second, his eyes widened. “Ranbo- Wait. Janus? Is this Janus? Who am I talking to here?”

As Techno leaned in, Ranboo couldn't help stepping back. His world is spiralling. His legs wobble as if the ground under him is caving in. Somehow, he manages to stay standing.

“I…” He found himself flipping through his memory book, searching desperately. He halts close to the very beginning. In a page dedicated to writing down who he deems as friends- no, allies. He skims through, fingers trailing over the names written in the already crumpled page. Tubbo, Phil, Fundy, Quackity… 

They're all crossed out. 

That was when he felt his core shaken, nearly dropping the book upon noticing. Barely, he could recall that once upon a time their names were written clearly in his records. As much as it brought him pain, knowing how much he hurt them, knowing how much he despised picking between any of them, he was comforted by the knowledge that he has people. That he  _ had _ people.

Had.

Only two names remained clear as when they were first written.

One is Tom-  _ Theo _ . A warmth enveloping Ranboo from within as he remembers somebody who was once legitimately a friend. Before suddenly, the warmth was replaced by scorching pain in his chest, as he remembers the face that bore the name. The charred  _ corpse  _ with blank eyes, staring at him, dead. 

And then there’s the second.

A single word. 

_ Dream _ .

The name bears onto his soul. He never had any recollection of writing it down, ever. Its very presence in his book feels so wrong. But here it is, written in still barely dried up ink. The book having never left his possession, never has left his side. So there is nobody, absolutely nobody, who could’ve written it down. Nobody but him. Does he trust it? When had Dream ever been his friend? Is he  _ actually _ a friend? He doesn’t know, he hates not knowing. The corners of his eyes are darkening. Not again. Not again- 

"Hey-" 

Rough hands grabbed him-

**"HEY!!!"**

_ "GAH!" _ Ranboo was shaken back to consciousness. Gasping, he keeps trembling. The hands that held him stayed there, grounding him, as he looked up, staring at the obviously shaken Technoblade. 

"Heh- You alright there Ranboo?" A nervous chuckle comes out of Techno's mouth. "You sort of just-  _ froze." _ Ranboo tries to gently push himself off his grip, failing. He is being held so steadily, so protectively. He isn't even sure if Techno notices. 

"Yeah, I'm fine- I'm fine." This time, he does succeed in shaking Techno off of him. Techno's hands remain there however, hovering on the air. 

"...you sure?" Techno tilts his head, reminding Ranboo of more of a pup than that big scary violent anarchist he is known as. Ranboo couldn't help but snicker. 

"Ye- Yeah… It's still me. I'm still Ranboo." Another chuckle as he opened his arms, gesturing of himself. "It's fine, really."

There it is again, the look that Ranboo noticed Techno was having since he awoke in the middle of their conversation. Eyes wide. Brows wrinkled. Mouth agape trying to say something, but couldn't. His arms hovering, clearly wishing to hold onto him like last time. But unsure, as if knowing Ranboo is going to pull away once more the minute he does so. 

Ranboo however, is starting to piece together what Techno is leaving unsaid. He's about to speak up about it when-

_ THUD _

What sounded like somebody landing on their feet is heard several steps behind them. There, standing near the ladder that leads out of the base is a familiar frowning mask. It is none other than Theo, Dream's one and only protege. 

Ranboo steps back. 

Why is he stepping back? 

Although masked, the protege's stare is obviously directed at one person specifically, fully ignoring the Piglin warrior standing besides him. He can feel it, his Enderman heritage rejecting Theo's continued gaze. Ranboo gulped. This feeling of unease growing, and the Enderman hybrid found himself cowering behind The Blade, barely noticing Techno having already stepped forward, standing between him and the red cladded boy. 

"What seems to be the problem?" Is a simple question. Techno not betraying a hint of obvious emotions upon asking. 

Theo, not surprisingly, doesn't reply, as per usual of him. The masked apprentice merely stepped forward, strolling leisurely towards him, an arm out, reaching for Ranboo, who kept trembling behind Technoblade. Why is he trembling? Is this fear? He shouldn't be scared. It's just Theo. 

It's just Theo. 

_ Crack _

Ranboo's thoughts were interrupted by Techno's Toothpick striking the floor. Theo also stops, finally looking up at Techno, head tilting. The glare in Techno's eyes are tranquil, not burning in fury but contained yet still threatening. 

"Look, if you need Ranboo for anything, just say it." Techno crosses his arms. His frown then shifts into a serene smile so suddenly. "You know I'm  _ also _ part of this exclusive club of yours, I don't see a reason why I can't listen." Shrugging. 

For a minute, there is silence. Theo had since lowered his arm and is staring at both of them. As if processing what he should say. It takes a while, but then, he simply shakes his head. 

"Not  _ him."  _ His voice is rough of misuse, barely a whisper, Tommy wouldn't sound this quiet. "I don't need  _ him." _

With a tilt of his shoulders, Theo gestures to Ranboo, who flinches. His brain whirs trying to understand what he meant, until it clicked. 

He walks away from his hiding spot, there is a hint of baffle in Techno's eyes as Ranboo strides past him. The Blade does not speak however as Ranboo stands in front of the masked man, his hand already on his very own mask, fingers trailing on the curved smile-frown lips. 

"He needs me." Ranboo said, realization in his words. He gives a reassuring smile at the man behind him. "I-It's ok. It's just gonna for a mission, Techno." 

Techno however, looks away, grumbling something under his breath. He looked up as Ranboo placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. 

"Look- If anything happens we'll let you know." Ranboo grins. "I'm with Theo though so… There shouldn't be a problem."

There it is again. That look in Techno's face, one that by this point, Ranboo had since identified, figuring out what Techno just wouldn't, no,  _ couldn't  _ admit. That expression is of one thing, and one thing only. Ranboo is mostly sure of it. 

_ Care.  _

Does he even deserve it? 

"I know you're worried-"

"No." Techno interrupted. Ranboo notices that Techno's concern is no longer just focused on him. For brief glances, the boy observed Techno giving the very same look to Theo, a melancholic gaze, before looking away after only a few seconds. His eyes moving back and forth and back and forth between the dirt and the red man. 

Theo either doesn't notice or doesn't care. 

"Just go." This time it is Techno who pushes past them, placing a foot on the first of the ladder's steps. "It's not like I just realized I have grinding to do, adventures to be, times to sell out... Yeah..." He grumbles under his breath. 

With one last glance of worry, now both at Ranboo and Theo, lingering far longer than any time prior, Techno chooses to turn away, beginning to ascend. 

Now, Ranboo feels a little bad, though he doesn't think Techno was actually trying to be passive-aggressive, he can't help but be a bit hurt at hearing a hint of sadness in Techno's remark. What did he say? What  _ can _ he say? He couldn't be the bridge that brought Tubbo and Tommy together, how could he be for Techno and Tommy? He cannot even bear seeing Techno's response upon seeing the boy that nearly killed him. Said boy is standing there, alone, with him, right now. 

It's not like he's even still  _ him. _

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his arm. Theo pulls up the hand that held his signature frowny-smiley mask, beckoning him to wear it. Ranboo could only sigh, shaking his head, making Theo tilt his once again. There is resignation in the half Enderman's eyes, as he breathes out something he's been meaning to tell him, one he's been holding back for so long. 

"...are we doing the right thing, Tommy?" The name slipped out as he questioned him. Theo tensed, the hand holding Ranboo's tightens, although not to the point of hurting. 

Without a word, Theo shoved the mask to his face, and Ranboo gasped, startled, holding his breath. Eyes closing, he felt drowsiness sink in. And soon, everything is black. 

-.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .- -.-. - ..- .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .- .-.. .. ...- . -.-.--

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early release surprise! I'm on a roll! Next chapters might come sooner than later, so long as nothing comes my way lol. I thank you guys for being patient :)


	3. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were happy. And for now, that is enough. Why should he ruin it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW:
> 
> Nothing this time, but there are some self depreciating thoughts briefly.

He awoke feeling lighter than usual. There is a pep in his step as he gets up from bed, yawning. 

He doesn't even have a morning routine but he found himself compelled to prepare for this specific day for some reason. Straightening his suit and tie, his hair combed, his teeth shiny, he opens the door. Bright daylight bursts through the opening, pelting him in the face, making him look away, squinting.

Soon, he looks up, New L'Manberg clears in his view. His ears twitch at the sound bustling on the podium, familiar figures of his fellow L'Manbergians coming in and out of sight. It seems it's not just him who is oddly cheerful today. 

He wonders why that is. 

"Heeeeey! Ranboe!!" From below, Fundy calls out, hands full of dyed wool. Still a bit drowsy, Ranboo yawned once more, blinking. He waves at Fundy. 

"Fundeeee..! Good morning." Ranboo calls back. Stretching his lanky body, hearing a few concerning cracks. 

With a "Mmm-hmm." Fundy had since returned to placing colorful blocks around New L'Manberg. Decorations? Booths? What is this? 

Ranboo tilts his head, though he doesn't have to wonder for long, as Fundy turns to him once again, calling from the podium. 

"Sooooo are you just gonna stand there or..?" Ranboo raised an eyebrow upon Fundy asking, looking around and pointing at himself. 

"Me?" 

"No, the cats- YES YOU!" 

"Ah- OK!" 

This fully wakes him up. Ranboo hops from where his house is standing, onto the wooden floor besides the foxfolk. Fundy sighs though with a hint of a snicker, before returning on building what seems to be… Contraptions? This confused Ranboo even more than he already was. What is this? Party games? A festival? Didn't they do the same thing thrice already? Yeah, how did that end up? 

"So what are we doing?" He finally asked. One of Fundy's ears drops along with a brow. The foxfolk is staring at him as if he just asked the dumbest question. 

"Oh right! Memory problems." Fundy perks up briefly, before his expression lowers into being dumbfounded once more. 

"Wait- Didn't you have a memory book or something?" He points his clawed hand at Ranboo, who flinches. "You  _ were _ the one who told us about that." 

"About what..?" 

Immediately, Ranboo took the book into his hands. Flipping through the most recent pages. Memory after memory after memory. Words like 'dead' or ' he's gone' flashing by which Ranboo elects to try to ignore. Finally, he stops, seeing what could possibly be it. 

_ Tommy is coming back.  _

…what? 

His eyes trail downwards, reading through the continuation of the vague statement he supposedly wrote. It's not like the words after made it make much more sense. 

_ I told them about it.  _

Why? Why him? How could he be so sure that he took it upon himself to deliver this admittedly AMAZING news? That they can screw consequences. That it is not only likely, but completely  _ possible  _ to bring people back to life. Better yet, why are they believing  _ him  _ of all people, so much that they are now setting up this welcome party for their fallen founder. It is a welcome party right? Of course it is. What else could it be? 

They are all so geared for celebration, but Ranboo couldn't share their spirits, couldn't help but still faintly recall the funera- No, he doesn't want to remember. Not the dejected looks of every L'Manbergian and almost everybody else on the server. Not the last time he could recall seeing light in Tubbo's eyes. Not seeing Techno's invisibility unknowingly fade briefly as he left, noticing his tears as he does. Not the burning pit of anger he felt inside upon seeing Dream being there, in attendance, for some reason, how dare he? And why? Why is he this angry? 

His turbulent thoughts however started to calm as he read what followed immediately after. 

_ Tubbo seems to be happy.  _

For a bit, Ranboo felt a faint smile grace his lips. As mercy would have it, he began to recall the day he brought the news. As fragmented as his recollections were, he was glad to be able to clearly remember the moment he saw that light spark in Tubbo's eyes once again, after so long. How in almost an instant, hope is returned to the otherwise now desolate SMP. All with the news of Tommy's return. Ranboo couldn't help but chuckle thinking of how that would've made Tommy feel. He'd surely feel like a god, definitely.

Except, not everybody shares the same sentiment. 

He was so preoccupied with his book that Ranboo didn't notice their current vice president having joined in on the conversation. Quackity seems to be in a sour state of mood, as he had been most of the time since news of the death of the vice president before him. Ranboo thought he would've been far more delighted with the possibility of Tommy's return. He thought wrong. 

"I'm just saying, we shouldn't have trusted him." If Quackity is talking about Ranboo, he couldn't help but be inclined to agree. Why are they trusting his word on this? He couldn't even trust himself. 

"Come on, lighten up Big Q." Fundy laughs, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Let Tubbo have his day. He needed it."

_ "We left our President alone with our number one enemy."  _ Quackity snarled, pulling away from the foxfolk. 

Fundy scratches the back of his head. "You're just being paranoid. We sent Punz and Karl with him, it should be  _ fine." _

There is a flash of worry in Quackity's eyes at the mention of Karl. "No- No it's not."

The vice president laughs at Fundy's face. _"_ Paranoid? Me _paranoid?_ Fundy, I don't think you recall what this Festival was supposed to be _for_."

His head snapped towards Ranboo who froze in Quackity's gaze. "You."

"Y-Yes?"

"Tell me all you know about Dream." Their vice steps forwards, right towards him threateningly. Ranboo steps back. 

"Me?" He just answered with an ask, a nervous chuckle in his tone. 

"Don't play dumb with me-" 

_ "Quackity-"  _ Fundy grabs him. "You're scaring him!" The vice president's stride was interrupted. Ranboo could feel himself breathe as Quackity's gaze leaves him. 

Quackity shakes the arm off of his shoulder. "I don't fucking care." He snapped. "This guy is all buddy-buddy with the enemy of the state while we're here working our ass off trying to murder him."

"I- I don't know what you're talking about." He really doesn't. Him? Friends with Dream? The thought makes him shudder. He barely talks with the guy, let alone  _ like  _ him. Not after everything. Not after Tommy. 

So why are they insinuating that he of all people will ally with such a _monster?_

Unless… 

"Oh so now you conveniently forgot? What, you're just a glorified mailman then? Oh hello there! Ranboo here! Just delivering some news from Dream, we can talk to dead people now! Finally!" It was then that Fundy stepped between them. 

"Big Q, stop." The playfulness is gone from the fox's tone. "You're taking it too far."

However, Ranboo is no longer paying any attention. His focus is back at the book, flipping back into the page he opened prior. Page after page after page. Until he's right back there. Right at the page where he last saw Tubbo's name, claiming he is happy. 

Instinctively, he knew that what he is looking for is on the page after.

His fingers shook as he touched the edges of the paper. He just needs to raise it, flip the page and see what awaits next. It's that simple. So why can't he? What is this feeling of nausea coming at him the moment he thinks about what could be on the other side? Just flip the page! Flip the dang page damnit! Stop being so scared you coward! 

"You ok there bud?" Fundy's voice briefly snaps him out of it. No, he has to do this. 

He flips. 

And nearly dropped the book. 

**:)**

Written plainly in ink, confirming all his fears. 

"I got to go."

"Ranboo?" Fundy reaches out for him. 

"I got to go!" He snapped at him, he knows he'll feel bad about it later. Spinning on his heels, he was interrupted by Quackity's call. 

_ "If you leave it's a sign of treason." _

"Treason?" Ranboo found himself laughing darkly. He is scared. Why is he laughing? "

_ "Oh you have no authority here." _

Is what comes out of Ranboo's mouth, mildly shocking him himself. How could he say that? He's only making it worse. What is he doing? What is this spark he felt start within him? This  _ fire.  _

What is happening to him? 

Quackity looks baffled. "So you're admitting you're a traitor then?" 

Ranboo scoffs. "I don't know- Do I look like I know what's going on with my brain half of the time?" He's pointing a claw at the side of his head. His emotions grew more and more tumultuous by the second. 

"I should leave…" He began turning back once more. 

"Wait-" But Fundy's call was interrupted by a furious vice. 

"Yeah! Leave alright! And don't come back!" 

He doesn't reply as he starts walking away.

"This wouldn't have happened if it weren't you- IT WAS YOU WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN EXILED! **NOT** **TOMMY!!!"**

He squeezed his eyes shut as he strides faster. Until his steps become a full on sprint. Ranboo ran. He ran and ran and ran. Not looking back. Don't look back. He shouldn't look back. 

He is stopped by a clawed hand. 

It was Fundy. "Hey…" 

"Fundy- Let me go." He pleads, the foxfolk doesn't. 

"Look, just-" For a moment, Fundy pauses, struggling to continue. "Don't let Big Q get you down alright? You're still welcome there, back in L'Manberg."

Again, he scoffs. "Am I really?" Ranboo couldn't help but chuckle, because it surely doesn't sound like he is. 

"Yeah!" Fundy asserts. "I mean like- Like you said, Big Q can't just go exile you, we all got to agree and- I doubt we would." 

Ranboo pauses. In a way, Fundy does have a point. All in all it should be Tubbo's last word that'll guarantee his fate, not Quackity, nor Fundy, nor anybody else. Why was he even worrying then? He should be fine. Tubbo trusts him. He trusts him. 

Does he? 

He felt his chest squeeze at the thought. Time and time again he proved to be untrustworthy. He's betrayed them. God, he  _ betrayed _ them. It was clear. That smile… No, he can't run from it. It's there, in his book, in his head, in his memories. It's true. He's a traitor. He's nothing but a traitor. 

Tubbo shouldn't trust him. Exile is the least he deserved. 

He doesn't deserve that mercy. 

Breathing out a deep sigh, looking away from Fundy, he mumbled, "Fundy…"

"..thank you."

"Hey, anytime man." Fundy replied with a grin, once more Ranboo cannot help but chuckle at that. Gently pulling away from Fundy's grip, he walks away. Fundy not stopping him. This time, he does not turn back. 

He doesn't know if he'll ever return, or where exactly he's going, but he had to go, somewhere, anywhere but there. Anywhere but L'Manberg, the country he shouldn't belong in, for its sake. 

But where? 

And so, Ranboo kept moving forward, farther from L'Manberg lands, the sound of festivities fading in the background. Ranboo could now recall that that Festival wasn't meant to be in any way a positive occasion, but with how things changed, he'd reckon it is now for the better. Better to celebrate a return instead of having everything blow up in a failed assassination attempt, Ranboo believes so. Tubbo and the others could enjoy their little welcome back party from the remains of their cancelled plans of killing Dream all they want, Ranboo just won't be a part of it. It's for the best really. 

Not with all he knows. 

Soon however, Ranboo stops, looking around, noticing the familiar territory around him. Where is he? He sees a hill slightly hollowed out, a wooden path leading inside. He elects not to trespass, realizing where his legs took him. 

He however, wasn't prepared for what he saw as he turned around. 

There, sitting on the now dusty bench, overgrown over the months it's been ignored, is a familiar person of red. His slightly longer braided hair blowing with the wind. Oddly quiet for him, not even touching the music box that lay unused in the months its owner had been absent. 

"Theo..?" Ranboo spoke, hesitant. 

Hearing him, the person turned, slowly, revealing a face left bare, unmasked. Ranboo flinches, internally cringing at the sight he hasn't seen too much of lately. The sight of this half scorched face, belonging to a kid who died too early.

The kid chuckled. "Do I look like that boring fuck?" 

"..what?"

Immediately, Not-Theo's chuckle turned into laughter. "No!" He wipes a tear from his eye. "It's just me. THE BIG MAN!"

"Tommy…?" 

At that, Tommy's grin widened. It was when Ranboo noticed Tommy's eyes sparkling. Something lit inside. That light. When was the last time Ranboo saw that light? 

"Missed me bitch?" 

.... . -.-- -....- / .... . -.-- --..-- / .. - .----. ... / --- -.- .-.-.-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, posting weekly! This week has been hectic for me so sorry if it seemed that I took a while. I try to post at Wednesdays my time but I thought to share this a day early.
> 
> Also, sorry if C!Quackity is a bit unlikeable here? I swear there's gonna be more to him but for now... He's like this. :)


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He glimpsed underneath the mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW:
> 
> Bleeding  
> Panic Attack  
> Portrayal of Toxic "friendships"

He awoke in pain, groaning as he felt hands roughly grabbing him. What felt like bandages were wrapped around his arm, still stinging. Is that his blood he is seeing? Why is he bleeding? He is still too drowsy to understand. What even is happening? His vision is still barely clearing, flashes of red and green dances in his eyes. 

"Jesus man, don't scare me like that." He hears grunting as the bandages keep being applied. It tightens and he yelps, bringing him crashing back down into the waking world, fully conscious. 

Red and green covered hands are what is currently dressing up his wounds. His arm was raised, slowing down the bleeding, giving him the opportunity to see whom these hands belong to. 

He is greeted by a face uncovered, no mask hiding the scorched half of the face underneath. 

"T-Theo?" Was his first few words right after waking up. 'Theo' replies with a scoff. 

"Theo can't heal for shit can he?" A potion was shoved into his face before he could reply. "And for fucks sake _drink."_

He doesn't protest, biting the cork off, he dunked the potion of what he identified as regeneration. Wincing as his wounds weave back together, closing into itself, not fully though as Not-Theo shoved a bucket of milk into his arms. 

_"Drink."_ Not-Theo insists. 

"Ugh…" He moves away from the milk, groaning. This just seems to annoy Not-Theo more. 

"Do you want it scarred or not? Actually- that _could_ be badass..." Not-Theo shrugs. "Eh, your call." 

He blinks, staring at the milk. As much as he'd rather let the regen potion do its work, he has a feeling this wound isn't something worth remembering. He grabs the bucket, eyes closing as he basically inhales its contents, he'd need to change clothes soon, as that's a lot of milk he spilled. 

He feels the tickling numbness of sorts that you get whenever potions wear off. Trembling, he pushes the bucket back to Not-Theo's hands, who gently takes it off of his. Opening his tightly shut eyes, he looks at the normally masked kid. The eyes he rarely sees nowadays brightening up, in a light he couldn't imagine was always there, just under that always frowning mask. 

"Tommy..?" 

That grin on the boy's scorched face grew as he spoke his supposed name. 

"You're alright!" Tommy gasped, grasping him by the shoulder. 

"What- What's going on..?" His head is still spinning, though it's no longer due to his supposed injuries.

"Shhhh, Ranboo, it's ok." Tommy holds him tightly, steadying him. 

"You're OK- You're OK." Tommy's voice is soft, and… soothing? Ranboo couldn't help but inch away. He cannot process this. This tone this person before him is taking, so uncharacteristic of the loud and brash Tommy he can barely remember. 

He remembers. 

Tommy ignores his unsettled reaction however, inching closer to him despite his reluctance. Soon, Ranboo found himself in a hug, receiving back pats from Tommy- _Tommy,_ not Theo. He can't be Theo, there's no way. The hand that rubs circles behind his back is rough but gentle, a gentleness he wouldn't guess Tommy possessed, let alone Theo. He sinks into the embrace, his own arms hesitantly wrapping around the smaller form, as if scared that he would once more slip away. 

"Shhhh…" Tommy continues to soothe him. Barely effective as he is too distracted by the bewilderment he's currently in. 

"B-But I thought-" He's sniffling, he shouldn't be sniffling. "I thought you're-" 

"What?" Tommy pulls away, staring into his tear filled eyes. His eyelids were burning. The sting trailing down his cheek. 

Realization is then seen in Tommy's face, understanding what Ranboo's getting at. He answers matter of factly. 

_"I've always been here."_

There is a playful chuckle that comes out of the smaller boy as he reaches out, pressing a thumb on Ranboo's eyelid, wiping away a tear. 

"Shit, you really should NOT be crying. Like, aren't you- _really_ fucking allergic to water?" His tone is light despite him basically scolding Ranboo like a doting mother would. "How the hell does that even work? Do you just not- Fucking hydrate??" 

He laughs, and Ranboo just shook his head, pushing off Tommy, as soothing as he is being. 

"You haven't answered my questions- I-" Ranboo hates how unnerved he sounds. "What are you doing here? Ho-How are you even _here??"_

His companion only tilts his head, gray eyes blinking in what seems to be confusion. "I already told you. What part of _I've always been here_ could you not understand?" If there is annoyance in his tone, Ranboo could barely hear it.

_"What do you mean?!"_ Ranboo snapped. "That makes no sense! Theo- _Tommy-_ I thought you're- that you're-" 

"What? That I'm dead?" Tommy's nonchalance greatly disturbed him. Why? He should be happy. He should not despair now that Tommy is here, and not the other who's been wearing his skin. Yes, he should be happy. 

He should. 

Why isn't he? 

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. "You fucking idiot… I've always been Theo."

...what?

_'Tommy'_ smiled, a calm, not smug looking smile. Is Tommy even capable of doing such a thing? 

"It's just _me."_ He states, plainly. "What? What did you think was happening?" He sounds genuinely confused. Despite that however, there's a serenity in his face. A contrast to Ranboo's still completely baffled one. 

"What are you talking about?" He pressed on, continuing to question this… _person_ before him. "You're not making _any_ sense."

None of these do, not to Ranboo. 

For the first time, Tommy huffed, an evident annoyance replacing the calm in his tone. "Look it's like- You know Batman right?" 

"What does that had to do with-" 

_"Jesus_ just let me fucking finish!" Tommy snapped. Ranboo flinched, ironically this is the closest to familiarity he heard coming from Tommy. 

Tommy shakes his head. "Alright so, Batman. You know how he's like Batman by night and- Seriously, how the fuck does that work? Shouldn't it be obvious by now? He should be parking his batmobile on fucking Billionaire Phila- Philan- Philza- fuck." 

Tommy couldn't help but laugh, Ranboo couldn't help but let out a giggle as well. "Fucking- BRUCE WAYNE'S lawn! Is he just- I don't know, bribing them or..?" Tommy couldn't hold it back anymore. "Pffthaha! That Bruce Wayne fella I tell you. Fucking rich bastard…." 

Ranboo blinks, still snickering. "Uh-huh, you're going somewhere Tommy, I believe in you." Ranboo remarked, earning himself a glare. 

"I _am_ getting there, prickface." He whined. Ranboo noticed himself smiling widely. 

Just as he remembered. 

"Where was I- OH! Batman." 

"Yep, Batman." Ranboo nodded. 

"OK OK, so- Listen. What I'm getting at here is- You know how he has this bat mask and suddenly- No more Bruce Wayne, it's just… THE Batman." He reaches into his cloak. "Unless you're living under a rock you _should_ know now that Batman is still that billionaire bastard Bruce Wayne by now. It's kinda like that Clark Kent guy with the ol suit ripping thing-"

"Wait- Wait, waaaaait." Both of Ranboo's palms were raised. "We're talking about Superman now?" 

"Yeah, weren't you listening?" Tommy questions in annoyance. "Anyways."

He takes out his hand, and from his inventory, is the mask. Ranboo flinches. Tommy not noticing however, holding the mask up to view, unbothered by the clear discomfort in Ranboo's expression. 

"This." Tommy gestures at the accessory. "Is _my_ Batman. While I…" A proud chuckle comes out of his throat. "Heh… I'm Bruce Wayne bitch."

Ranboo blinks. 

_"What does this have to do with Superman?!"_

"Well- I'm ALSO fucking Superman! But come on now, _'I'm Clark Kent bitch'_ sounds way less cool." Is Tommy's answer. And Ranboo remains there, standing, blinking, confused. 

"So let me get this straight." Ranboo's palms are still raised. "Theo is your alter ego. That's it, that's all you're trying to say."

"Is that what it's… I mean- YEAH! WHAT DID YOU THINK DUMBASS?! _Oh my god."_ He groans, both hands on his face, face-palming. 

Ranboo blinks once more. "You… Could've said that in a few words or less..? I guess..?" Ranboo is sure he could've. 

"NO! Cause I was- I was going somewhere damnit!" 

"Mmhmm, it's alright, I understand. Who doesn't want to compare themselves to Batman." Ranboo's reply is nonchalant.

Which seems to tick off Tommy more. "Oh come on! You know there's more to it than just… _that_ . _"_

"Uh-huh… Does that have to do with why I'm bleeding?" Ranboo raises his bandaged up arm, already greenish. Tommy exhales, once again, grabbing his arm, trying to tend to his wounds. 

"I mean… Yeah, actually." Tommy tightens the dressing. Ranboo squeezing his eyes shut, cringing as it stung. 

"I ain't giving you another potion." Tommy spoke up as he kept on working. 

"Well, I ain't asking." Ranboo huffs, puffing out his cheeks in fake pouting. Tommy stares up at him, blinking, before after a few moments, finding himself snickering from under his breath. Ranboo follows soon with the giggling.

"Pfft, ok _Robin."_ Tommy finishes up with handling his bleeding, all the while Ranboo's gaze remains on him. 

"Well that's new. Been called… Ranboob a couple of times." He recalls so? He can't exactly fully remember. "Never Robin."

"Look." Tommy began, letting go of his arm. "We're like Batman and Robin you and I." Tommy presses a finger on Ranboo's chest. "I'm basically your mentor."

"No you're not." Ranboo chuckles once more, pulling away from Tommy. 

"I'm serious. You're like a sidekick to me, a _pro-tey-jay_ if you will."

His chest dropped. 

"Yeah, I kinda like that. Probably should've called you Robin. I mean- Theo ain't bad- But it sounds so much like that Theseus shit Techno is on and on about- And you're just RANBOO! At least hide your identity for fucks sake!" Ranboo already is finding himself stepping back as Tommy rambles on. "I'd say we take this to _Dream._ He's probably cool with it… right? Of course he is. Why the fuck am I asking? I already call the man BIG D for fucks sake. Theo is shit- No- YOU need a name. Am I right, Robin?" 

But Ranboo is already inching away from him, trembling. He is hugging himself as he finds his breathing getting heavier and heavier and heavier. 

"...Ranboo?"

_"No."_ Ranboo cries. _"No- You're not-"_

"Hey." Tommy reaches out, Ranboo immediately flinching at Tommy barely raising his hand. "What's gotten into you?" He is chuckling, Tommy is still laughing as if this is some joke. It is not some joke. It is not. Ranboo knows it's not. He knows. 

He knows. 

_"I'm not-"_ He is struggling, the uncomfortable feeling worming it's way into him. Speaking is hard, understanding why he is this greatly disturbed is harder. _"I'm not your-"_

"Is this about me calling you _protege?_ " Ranboo was shocked. Tommy hit the nail right on the head. 

"Hey! What's wrong with being _my_ protege huh?!" Tommy crossed his arms, annoyed but not bearing the heat of any legitimate anger, at least, Ranboo barely senses any. "It's not like I- _Dream_ owns the word just cause he calls me that. Jesus." Tommy couldn't hold back a low chuckle, as he fakes pouting like Ranboo was once doing. This time however, Ranboo does not laugh along. 

Instead, Ranboo kept backing off.

Tommy, finally noticing the distance he was forming between them, attempted to bridge the gap, only for Ranboo to keep backing away, further and further. Yet still, Tommy kept trying to inch closer and closer, either ignoring or not noticing Ranboo's discomfort. He is getting so uncomfortable. This is so uncomfortable. 

"Stop moving damnit! What? What the hells gotten into you?!" 

"No I-" Ranboo tries to explain, still keeping himself away from the increasingly exasperated Tommy's reach. "Please stop-" 

"Or what?!" Now Ranboo can sense the anger, he squeezes his eyes shut, ready for Tommy to blow-

"Get yourself together man! You know-" 

Tommy stops in his tracks. 

"...you know I'm just joking." 

It didn't come. 

And just like that, as if tension wasn't rising just seconds prior, Tommy's tone shifts to a calm, joking manner. So very suddenly. 

And he's _still_ snickering. 

The boy finally managed to place a hand on his shoulder, and Ranboo, startled, recoiled. "No- no no no no." His mind flashes to that same feeling-

That touch by cold calloused hands as a smiling mask peers down at him.

He slaps the arm away, a look he could briefly identify as hurt crossing Tommy's face. "Stop- Stop saying that. _Please."_

He is begging. 

And Tommy just laughs harder. "What? Embarrassed? Don't want Big T as your mentor? I see what it is."

"Please stop-" 

"No no it's fine." Tommy just waves him off dismissively. This time, he's the one pulling back, walking away from Ranboo, who couldn't help but stop and stare back. 

"Just- Go." Tommy huffs. "Pal around with Techno or L'Manberg for all I care."

His ear twitched as he heard what he believed he heard. 

To him, it sounded a lot like _hurt_ in Tommy's words. Evident disappointment as he snapped at him. Tommy was hurt. By his own dismissal of him. By his own actions towards him. By _him._

That won't do. 

He can't let that. 

Almost completely forgetting his own discomfort, he walks towards him. "Tommy- I…" He breathes out. This time, it is him who's reaching out, but it is Tommy who moves away, slapping his arm before he could even place it. 

"I'm sorry… I-"

"Anyways-" Tommy tries waving him off, only for Ranboo to grab him, holding him firmly by his shoulders. 

Tommy looks up, confusion in his eyes, before immediately shifting to annoyance. He struggles. "I said I'm fine!" 

"No you're not." Ranboo stated matter of factly, holding on to him. "I'm sorry ok, I didn't- I didn't mean to hurt you."

_"Hurt me?"_ Tommy shook, laughing. "Who says anything about me hurting? Pffffahaha-" 

"No! Tommy you're-" His grip falters, his words getting shaky. "You were hurt alright." Yet still, Ranboo kept going. "I shouldn't have reacted so badly, I'm so sorry."

His hands finally gave way and Tommy pulled himself off of Ranboo's hold, having already quieted himself from all his laughing, he didn't reply. Ranboo however, turned away. 

"I know you were alone for so long…" His eyes tightly shut as he whispered. "You were not OK… And I-" With a hand on his chest, he turns back. "I should've been there. I should've been there Tommy."

Ranboo reaches out once more to the smaller kid before him. And surprisingly up, this time, Tommy doesn't fight back, not going against him as he is pulled close, staring up at Ranboo, a glow in those gray orbs as he is held, steadied in Ranboo's grip. 

"Tommy- I'm here."

He found himself pulling the smaller form into an embrace. 

"I'm right here…"

_Clap_

_Clap_

_Clap_

Startled, he spun around to the sound of applause behind him. His breath hitched as there, moving towards them coming out of nowhere, is the familiar green form of _him._ Of all people. 

"Dream!" Tommy calls out. Ranboo's gaze shifted to Tommy. Finding himself holding nothing but air as Tommy had already shook himself off his grip, running up to Dream like an overly excited puppy.

Dream raises his palm. Getting the signal, Tommy leans in with little hesitation, letting his well kept braid be ruffled under the man's hands. The look of utter contentment in the younger's face makes Ranboo shudder. 

_"Theo~"_ The way Dream called him by his other name, that sing-song tone, made Tommy's eyes fog a little. 

"You know I'm not-" Tommy's protest was cut off by nails digging against his skull. Tommy winces and Ranboo immediately steps forward. 

"Tommy-" He flinched as Dream's beady gaze snapped at him.

"D-Dream?" They both turn back to Tommy, whispering weakly. "I-It's fine. You can call me Theo if you want. _Please."_

There is an uncomfortable silence as Tommy looks up at Dream, pleading eyes staring back at emotionless dots of ink against blank white. Unblinking. 

Before finally-

He let's go. 

Both Tommy and Ranboo released a deep sigh of relief. The tension gradually lifts as Dream simply walks aside, chuckling. 

"Just… Came here to check up on you two." Dream said. Tommy's eyes glowed in what looked to be adoration as he spoke. "So, how's training..?" 

"Did we do good? Did you see what Theo- _I_ did? Heh, you should've seen it! Ranboo probably stood no chance- He's just- The last I saw him the guy was sitting on his ass bleeding! What a pussy!" Dream simply kept chuckling as Tommy brags on and on about Theo's exploits. Clarity entered Ranboo's mind as it is now made clear how he found himself bleeding in the first place. Just training? Internally, he's grateful he isn't going to keep any scars with something as minor as that. 

"Mmhmm." It isn't clear if Dream is even listening, but Tommy is just eating it all up, all the attention he is getting from him, his teacher. He stops only when he notices Dream moving away, attention having shifted towards the other, stepping towards Ranboo, slowly. 

He froze as a hand was placed on his shoulder. 

"And Ranboo!" A chill runs up his spine as Dream pulls him down into a shoulder hug. "What about you… _Friend?"_

The way Dream let that final word dance in his tongue makes Ranboo quiver, yet he can't find it in himself to push him away. His legs feel like stone in Dream's presence. One could say the same for his throat as if there is gravel lodged inside, keeping him from saying anything. _Anything_ to let out that growing pit of venom bubbling in his chest. That feeling. Anger. _Hate._

His _hatred_ of Dream. 

Dream seems to have sensed it as well, letting gop as Ranboo's gaze hardens into a dagger-like glare. The face that looks back at him is blank and unreadable. Did he pissed Dream off somehow? Somehow, the thought makes him smile. 

"Oh he's great." Tommy suddenly cuts between them. "I DID trained him! I like- I taught him everything I knew. I'm like his mentor you know!" He declared, chest puffed. 

Dream wheezed. 

"Theo-" He snickers. "Ranboo's- Ranboo's not your _student."_

"Says who?!" Tommy countered. "Hell- He's so good- So good in fact that I say you should give him a whole brand new name, like mine! What'd you say Big D?" 

"Alright, then _Janus."_

"No no I was thinking more like Robin or-" 

_"Theo."_

His mouth shuts immediately. 

Satisfied, Ranboo noticed the smirk on the sides of Dream's face as he approached, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. Ranboo tenses. 

_"Janus._ That sounds about right."

It wasn't a question, he didn't even ask for permission, it's just a statement. The way he spoke was so matter of factly, Ranboo saw no room to protest. He took it in, helplessly watching his name, his very _being_ changed before him. The figurative gravel in his throat cracks, and begins to give way, as a small sound comes out of his throat. The first words he spoke to this man, this _monster_ he so despised, after so very long. 

"..why?"

He whispers, voice cracking. 

Dream's head tilts upon his very simple question. Letting him go. 

"Why what?" Whether it is genuine confusion or the tell tale signs of Dream messing with him, Ranboo couldn't tell, too busy glaring at the mask in front of him. 

"I already told you, I came to check up on you." Dream shrugged, taking Ranboo's question wrong, either deliberately or not. 

This seemed to be an opportunity Tommy decided to take, stepping forward, he asked a question. "Dream-" 

"Are you finally coming back?" 

Coming back? 

Tommy asked it so politely, so meekly, as he stared up at Dream with that grey, still expectant eyes. It felt like moments before Dream responded, turning to Tommy, so slowly one could think they hear his neck creak like that of old hinges. Tommy barely flinches as a hand was once again placed on his head.

"No."

Dream answered, plainly. What sounds to be legitimate regret is heard in the masked man's tone, though to Ranboo, that could very well be an act. Not finding it in himself to believe the feelings he seems to be hearing from Dream of all people. It's _Dream._

It's Dream. 

As for Tommy. 

His expression sunk, gazing down with glazed orbs, fogged, swirling with obvious dejection. Ranboo could feel a squeeze in his chest at seeing the state Tommy is left in, barely being able to reach out until Dream spoke once more.

"I still have some important stuff to do, you know that Theo." 

"But-" 

"What did I tell you about trust, _protege?"_ Tommy chokes on his excuses as Dream cuts him off, still holding firmly on his head. At least his skull is no longer being crushed. Tommy whimpers at the thought. 

"That- That trust goes a long way." He whispers, and Dream's grip on him softens. 

"Mmhmm, and who never betrayed that trust,Theo?" Tommy seems to have an intense urge to run at the sight of Dream's mask leaning towards him, but he couldn't, not under his palms. 

He can't. 

"...you did."

There is a bit of hesitance as he gave Dream his answer. 

He still remained there, frozen under the hold and gaze of his master. For a bit, Ranboo believed it wasn't enough. Dream's annoyance, when directed at him, is not something he minds. But for Tommy? He can't. He can't let Tommy be subject to the mad man's wrath. He couldn't. He walks, getting between them. 

But still, despite his burning glare, Dream's attention remained trained at Tommy, whom Ranboo felt clutching onto his suit. He finds himself placing a hand at the shorter kid's side. Hugging Tommy close as he kept shivering in his arms. Yet still, Dream remained, staring at the scared kid under his care. 

"You should go."

It took a while. But, after what felt like hours of nothing but silence, Dream finally trailed his gaze from Tommy, up to Ranboo. 

He shudders at the brief eye contact. 

And Dream, he saw, he is certain, in his face, nothing. 

Nothing but a _smile._

Flashes of a smile written plainly in ink pops up in Ranboo's head. Yet, before he can process his tumultuous memories he was interrupted by Dream chuckling, turning back at them. 

"Good." He said.

His gaze still focused on the Enderman, feeling uneasy in his stare. 

"I'm sure you'll do just fine. Right… _Janus?"_

Ranboo finds himself looking away instinctively. This seems to satisfy Dream, who fully turns back, laughing. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon then."

And without even leaving a single goodbye, he's gone, leaving a puff of enderpearls in his wake. 

The silence was long, yet Ranboo found comfort as he held Tommy close, feeling him relaxing under his arms. The quiet felt eerie, with Tommy here not carrying any conversation, not like how he knew him. While Ranboo appreciates the quiet, not planning on ruining it, he couldn't help but miss the chatter he is so familiar with when speaking to the younger one besides him. The way their conversation ebbs and flows to one tangest and the next, and how Ranboo could just get lost in them. He missed that. 

He misses that. 

Clearing his throat, he finally peers down at Tommy. Breaking the silence. 

Tommy is staring longingly at the frowning mask in his hand, gaze misted over, but still, deeply intent on the porcelain in his fingertips. 

"Tommy-" 

"No no- It's fine- Ran- _Janus."_ There is hesitation to say his new name, Ranboo will have to reflect later on how he felt about that. "It's going to be OK, it's going to be OK."

His head spun towards Ranboo. 

"It's going to work out. It will- It will… We're… Yeah. This is the right thing. This is the right thing."

"Heh, if it ain't, then why would I be here?" 

The conviction in Ranboo's reply seems to make Tommy's eyes glow positively. Staring back at the mask, then back to Ranboo, back to the mask, and back to Ranboo. 

He sighs. 

"I don't need you." He mumbles, Ranboo barely picking it up. "Not yet. I don't need you yet. No." He shook his head, still holding on to the mask, unable to let go. 

"Ranboo..?" This catches Ranboo's attention. Somebody still calls him Ranboo, holding onto that, that trait he couldn't sell away. That identity, agency, _him._

It is Tommy who is calling. 

"Hmm?" This time, he is the one legitimately curious. 

"...remember your promise. Alright?"

Was all Tommy said. 

...promise? What promise? 

And with that, Tommy pulls away, methodically placing the frown onto his face. The soft look Tommy had given him, gone, faded into Theo once more. 

It hurts. 

Theo walks away, further and further, away from Ranboo's reach, slipping, fading from his sight. He could follow him. He really could. But no. He can't. He decides not to. He couldn't dare walk his footsteps. He could not. It just hurts too much. Ranboo clutches his chest, trying to keep the tears from falling, as Tommy flew out of his reach once more. 

He fears one day he'll never see him again. 

.. .----. -- / .... . .-. . .-.-.-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early post. I will be busy for the next few weeks so I might miss a few weekly posts. This seems a long enough chapter so I hope the wait won't be too bad. :,)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it took a while! I was planning on releasing this as a one shot but, I thought that it's best I cut this up once again, just to let ya'll process each chapter. Cause let me tell you, it might get confusing. I hope it was worth the wait and I'll try to update quick :)


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